


The attack of the roomba

by BlooBlu



Series: TFANSIS Bonus Chapters [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, Blood, Boys Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Everyone Is Gay, Knives, M/M, Minor Injuries, Panic, Roombas, probably a lot more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 06:26:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21011243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlooBlu/pseuds/BlooBlu
Summary: Virgil went over a lot of new technologies and whatnot with Logan, but you'd be surprised how much just doesn't come to mind initially.Aka: Virgil has a friend over, they make a Seargant Stabby, and Logan is confused and afraid.





	The attack of the roomba

Logan was sure that he would never stop learning new things about the time he was in now. Coffee machines, which could produce coffee with added flavorings in minutes, plasma screens that could project images across the globe, flying machines that carried over 100 people at a time across continents -  
It was all so wonderful! The things humans could do, given a little time and determination, were truly fascinating!  
Not all of these developments were necessarily good, or used for their originally intended purposes, but…  
Well. This was a little absurd. 

When they had finally moved into a new apartment together, Virgil had insisted they get a 'roomba.' Which was a self-driving machine intended to suck up small objects as well as dirt and dust on the floor. He couldn't say that he was particularly fond of it - a machine that could work with no direction was already far too powerful in its own right, lack of any opposable limbs nonewithstanding, well..  
When Virgil had said on multiple occasions that this machine, as well as essentially all robots in existence so far, was not sentient, Logan had understood and been fairly comfortable in trusting Virgil's knowledge on the subject.  
But, staring down (from standing upon the counter, ankles bloody and sore) at the now *armed* roomba… he was not sure. Was this some sort of petty vengeance for being enslaved by humans? Logan could not imagine how it had gotten hold of a knife, let alone secured it to itself, but here they were. Logan, terrified and rather close to just running and hoping he could escape to the next room in time, and the roomba, fruitlessly attempting to clean Logan's spilled coffee.

He heard laughter, coming from nearby, and the sound of keys in the door. Virgil! He was back- surely he could assist, there must be an off switch on this beast-

"VIRGIL! BE CAUTIOUS AS YOU ENTER, YOUR CLEANING DEVICE HAS GONE ROGUE AND IS TAKING ITS REVENGE UPON US!"

The laughter quickly ceased, and Virgil walked into the kitchen with one of his friends - Remy - behind him.

"Lo? Everything alright? What do you mean the roomba is- 

Oh."

Virgil looked at him, now more crouching than standing on the countertop with bare feet and blood staining the marble beneath them, and then he looked down at the buzzing roomba, still trying to pick up the mess. 

Remy, the bastard, just began to laugh - *as if this was some JOKE* - and turned to leave.  
"You got this, right, babes? Em is telling me to hurry up before the pie gets cold. See ya, would not wanna be ya!"

Virgil looked both sympathetic, but also on the verge of laughter. He walked over and picked the roomba up- tore off the knife and material adhering it to the bot, and returned the roomba to its "bed."  
"I'm so sorry, I completely forgot about this last night- C'mon, Logan - it's safe now, get down here and we'll wrap up your feet in the bathroom, k?"

Skeptical, but not one to judge his soulmate - Logan agreed and climbed down. He scowled at the counter - they'd have to deep clean that, later.  
A few minutes later, as Virgil was in the middle of wrapping his ankle, he asked:  
"Virgil, though I do not care to make assumptions- I believe you know how that machine came in possession of a weapon, correct?"  
"Uh… yeaaaahhh… me and Rem… kinda.. did that…"  
"First of all, 'Remy and I', second, what do you mean, *you* did it?"  
"I mean… we… gave the roomba a knife. He's sergeant stabby. It's uh, another one of those things from tumblr. I really am sorry, Lo - we were drunk and I totally forgot about it. It won't happen again."  
"....I will never understand you and your friends. The only sensible one is Emile, and they nearly cross the line too, when intoxicated."  
Virgil just laughed.  
"Sorry, Lo. Maybe you could… kiss the stupid outta me?"  
"I doubt that would work, and would likely leave me open to become infected with your idiocy."

But… some people are worth being stupid for.


End file.
